Life is Only As Good As the Questions You Ask
A Quality Question Empowers You to Get Quality Results
Are you asking the right questions?
To make a really great decision, we must ask really great questions. This process is applicable for all areas of life. Asking the right questions can lead you to more insightful answers which, in turn, will lead you to making better decisions- better decisions lead you to a more EPIC life!
When we’re younger, we develop an internal dialogue. This typically develops in adolescence or even childhood. The internal dialogue we have is incredibly powerful because it can devastate and stunt us with negativity. If you’ve ever had this negative “recording” in your head, you’re not alone- we all have one. It usually sticks with us throughout our lives and it goes something like this:
“I’m not as good or as talented as others are” or “I am not lovable, that is why I have no partner” or how about… “Life always throws crap at me. I feel like a failure all of the time, and I don’t see a way out.” - This rhetoric can disempower us. It fills our head with dread, disappointment, self-criticism, and doubt. It does not ignite action, but rather complete avoidance or denial. BUT if you are looking for that epic life to build, it requires, not only thought but, ACTION!
We need to release that old recording, and begin to ask ourselves quality questions; we need questions that empower us, that encourage and motivate us. These questions enable us to make better decisions, helping us to move in the direction of our epic life. If you are asking yourself lousy questions, then the result will be a lousy life. Excellent questions lead to a life of excellence, and it all begins with the right question.
One very common trait that all successful people have is the ability to ask EXCELLENT questions. When you ask a quality question, your mind will dig deeper to find answers for it. Great questions are not about feeling sorry for yourself or getting down on yourself; they are not anything like that internal recording we talked about. Great questions cause you to think further, to think outside the box, to delve a bit deeper into your mind, your intuition, and your soul.
Let’s look at some concrete examples in the following scenarios:
· If you feel like your love life is MIA, you might ask yourself, “Why can’t I ever find Mr. or Ms. Right?”—poor question.
Instead, a better question would be, “What am I looking for in a partner? What steps should I take that would help me to connect with someone compatible with me? How could I better myself to become a great match for someone like that?”
· If you are struggling with boredom or apathy towards your work: What should you ask yourself? You could ask, “Why don’t I have a fun job that I like?” The answer is probably something like, “Well we’ve got to pay the bills somehow, so I’ll just stay at this job.” However, a better set of questions would be:
1. Is it helpful or a disservice to stay in this job?
2. What gets me excited and passionate?
3. Could I make my passion be my way to make a living?
4. Who has succeeded doing what I really want to do? *(The luminary we talked about last week, maybe?)
5. What is one step I could take to bring me closer to my career goals?
· If you are facing a hurdle or something is just not going right (whether it is with work or personal life) rather than asking: “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always getting stuck?” Quality questions might be:
1. How can I learn from this?
2. Who do I know that has handled similar setbacks and come out on top? Could I ask them for advice?
3. Where is the opportunity that is hiding in this difficult struggle?
· If you are facing feeling overwhelmed with depression and anxiety due to workload or family pressures: You might ask, “Why am I the only one doing all this? Why do I have so much more stress than anybody else?” Better questions would be:
1. How can I break this down into manageable chunks?
2. Could I enlist the help of someone to better manage my time?
3. How can I prioritize my list to make it more manageable?
4. What will be the benefits of change?
When you feel anxious, all you typically want to do is find a way to distract yourself so as not to feel the anxiety. However, that works in the opposite direction; ignoring the anxiety only makes it grow larger. Instead of distracting, ask yourself:
“Why do I feel this knot in my stomach? What is the source of the anxiety? Is it valid and useful, or is it general worry coming from my mind’s recording that is of no use to me?”
You can typically tell the difference if you tune into your intuition. If your intuition has real concerns or worries, it will sound like a deep, calm, wise voice speaking to you. If, on the other-hand, it is mind chatter then it will sound panicky, high pitched, and frantic. Learn to distinguish the two voices because they can be a great source of quality answers.
So I want to leave you with some excellent questions that will lead us into next week’s Happy Hour with Karen Facebook Live:
How do you really want to live? What gets you most excited? Where do you feel stuck?